Rizal - Take Charge!

Imagine you are the only survivor in a plane crash. The plane has crashed in this big, big jungle. One of the first things you would do is be grateful that you are still alive! You’d probably have some cuts and bruises, maybe even something broken here and there, but you are alive When you’ve realised that you are alone……fear starts to creep in…… but you quickly be calm and accept the fact God kept you alive for a reason so now your job is to stay alive and survive
You then start to look around you for other survivors, and at the same time check out your surroundings, i.e. what is around you. You start to look at what’s round you……. finding anything that will help you stay alive; blankets, foodstuff, water container, cigaret lighter, knife, etc. You gather all these things in a pile, knowing that if nobody comes and rescues you soon, you would need these things to help you find your way out of the jungle.

One day and one night passes by and there is no sign of your rescuers. You decided to do something and go out on your own. During the day, you noticed where the sun rises and where the sun sets, and at night, you noticed where the North Star is. You now have a good bering of where North South East and West is. You’ve also found a map and you now start to chart out your course to the nearest town. After gathering your supplies, you start out on your journey back to civillization
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There are times in our lives when we feel ‘lost’……. when we are feeling depressed, confused, betrayed, hopeless, lonely, alone. A prolonged feeling of being ‘lost’ can be devastating for a person, even to the extent of being suicidal.

So when you are feeling ‘lost’ this is what you do:

STEP 1
Be gratefull that you are still alive! Your heart may hurt, your head spinning, your soul crushed, but admit and accept the very fact that you are still ALIVE! For some positive reason God has kept you alive so far, so choose to stay calm and stay alive lah
STEP 2
Look for people who could help you or anything else that could help too. People can be friends, parents, family, counsellors, coaches, etc. Anything else can be the Quran, books, music, …….. in short, look around you for anything that can help you make a decison for you to move on. Look at the Choices you have. When you talk to people and ask for their opinion, remember, they are only giving you THEIR OPINION. Whether you want to accept, reject or modify their opinion is totally Your Choice. Whatever it is, the most important thing is CHOOSE. Do something about it. Move. If doesn’t make you happy, make another choice and CHOOSE again. Continue to do that until you are happy about it. This process may take a day and a night, it may even take a year……. at least you are doing something about it
STEP 3
Make it crystal clear where you want to go or move on to. Where you want to go can also mean what is your end, your objective, what you want to acomplish, your Goal. If you do not have a target or objective, then how will you know how to get there? So get your goals Crystal Clear. One of the fastest way to get your goals clear is to Write It Down, or draw it…… describe it in detail. By writing your goals down, it will act as a Map that you will always refer to as you find your way out of that thick ‘jungle’ of problems that you face before reaching your goals or destination.

Step 4
With your goals clear and map in hand, you will now look for Signs and Direction to lead you the Right Way. The signs are all around us actually. And if you can’t see them, all you have to do is look up…… and Pray. God is Always with you, so all you have to do is look Up and Ask for God’s Guidance. Everything happens with God’s Will, yes?
Step 5
Every experience is a learning experience. Hence, Learn from the Past, Plan for Your Future, Take Charge Now Whatever happened in your life, happened. Stop talking about it and move on. Talk about the Past and you’ll stay in the Past. Learn from the Past. Improve and Plan for your Future. And Take Charge! of your Life Now Why wait when you can do it now? Of course you can!
Remember, being ‘lost’ is a Choice. You can choose to continue to be ‘lost’ or you can Choose to Find Yourself and Take Charge! of your Life. Your Choice. So Choose
Take care. Take Charge! Stop Bangau-ing
Rizal

On many occasions I meet people who come up to me and express how nervous they are when meeting people and when conducting presentations.

Dear Friends, being nervous is NORMAL. That means if you are not nervous, you are not normal lah! :)) Seriously. Even I get nervous when I am conducting programs in front of crowds……it’s just that I move so fast on stage that you hardly noticed how much I shake!
Being nervous is God’s way of telling you, “YOU STILL NEED ME!” You may be the best speaker in the world, but you can’t do a thing without His Blessings, yes?

So accept the fact that being nervous is normal. Redha (Acceptance). Only after you accept that fact can you only move on to control it
The first step in controlling nervousness is to put it in your mind that the person or persons in front of you has two hands and two legs just like you (and anything less is still acceptable too!); so why be nervous?
But if the person or persons in front of you has more than two hands and two legs, has a tail waving behind their backs, 4 heads with horns, I would suggest you run away in fear too!

So Number 1, the person in front of you is physically just like you. Even if he has a “Dato” or a “Dr.” in front of his name, he still has two hands and two legs like you. So be cool
Now, if this person or persons in front of you were friends, would you still be just as nervous if you were facing strangers? Hardly.

So the second step is to make friends with your audience. If you are to do a presentation, minggle and make friends with members of your audience BEFORE you get up on stage to present. For one-to-one communications, take time to find anything in common between you and the peron you are speaking to before you indulge in any subject matter with him/her. I believe, when there is something in common between you and me, we easily get attracted to one another. I do not believe in opposites attract; we are not magnets, we are human beings!
For those of you who have been in my class before, SALAM MESRA is the way to go (and for those of you who’ve yet to be in my class, choose to be in my class lah!).

Now that you have accepted the fact that nervousness is normal, the person in front of you is just like you and that you are only talking to friends, you will be able to present yourself easily, yes? Of course you can
Remember, to be nervous or to be confident is a CHOICE. My Choice So choose to be confident lah
Take care. Take Charge! Stop Bangau-ing

It has been close to 3 months now since I left Gamuda and I have been busy having FUN!
Honestly, when people ask me how am I and what I’m doing now, I just answer “I’m busy having fun!” and it just gives a whole new perspective to the term ‘work’ Stress is kept at bay, problems are solved quickly……even when there was a point in time when I didn’t see training engagements coming in for the month, I was going around telling people “If I don’t get a training date soon, I’d probably have to do part time at Mc Donalds lah…!” :))

And just when things were just about to be quiet, emails and phone calls start coming in I’m conducting programs every week in May and by July, I should reach my target of 15 training days in a month
And my website is up Do check out www.take-charge.com.my. Tell me what you think and do give suggestions, ya
I realised that thoughout this FUN, I have never lost sight of my goal of conducting a program for a mass group of 4000 participants. Every decision I made, business or otherwise, was based on that. In my mind, any program I do which has 25-30 participants is like snacks in between lunch and dinner I’m constantly heading for that big 4000 participants program. It must have been so strong in my mind, so much so that it prompted the TNC of Universiti Malaysia Sabah to suddenly say “Would you like to do Take Charge! for 4800 students in July? 4800 students all at once?” Believe me, I practically shouted “YES!” when he said that :)) So for those of you in Sabah that time, look out for that, ya!

Just wanted to share all this with you. I believe, by the Will of God, my Efforts, and the Wishes and the Prayers of my Family and Friends, I will be able to do what I set out to do….and having lotsa FUN doing it too! I therefore THANK YOU
Take care. Take Charge! Stop Bangau-ing
Rizal Learning Facilitator & NLP Coach
Take Charge Sdn Bhd (725577-A)
www.take-charge.com.my
012-2881444

Have you noticed that some of you who go for diets or go to the gym or go for those body treatments, or in short, any type of activity which is supposed to help you get rid of excess fat and to look good, but in the end you realise that all that doesn’t work for you?

For example, you may start on a diet but after a while (and ‘a while’ could just mean after the very next hour!) you may be tempted to finish off that last chocolate cake in the fridge……and there goes the diet! And the common excuses (BANGAU!) that come to your mind to make you feel better are “It’s just another piece……just one more…….I can always start dieting tomorrow…..etc”. The same goes when you go to the gym, body treatments or jogging, it all takes for just one excuse (BANGAU!) for you to say to yourself (and successfully convince yourself too!) and there goes the gym/body treatments/jogging/etc. out the door :))

I believe that the reason for all this is that you have not prepared your mind to lose weight. You put your body through all those activities but because your mind is not prepared for it, these activities do not seem to ‘work’.

So you see, it’s not that all those activities “didn’t work”. YOU didn’t make it work So Stop BANGAU-ing! :))

If someone is afraid of heights, and you give him a ladder, will he climb? No, he won’t because his mind is still fearful of heights. Take away the fear and he’ll climb with anything you give him! So get the mind right. Get your mind prepared.

There are many ways to set your mind and I would like to share one with you. Find a picture of yourself and in that picture, you are at your ideal weight. Make sure the picture has some positive emotions attached to it (for example, your wedding day picture, your graduation day, that memorable camping trip, etc.) Remember the time how good it felt then, that “feel good” sensation.

Now, write your ideal weight you want to achieve on that picture. Write your ideal weight, eg. “I want to weigh 55kg”. Don’t write “I want to lose 5kg”. By being specific your brain will know what to do.

Next, write the exact month and year you want to reach your ideal weight. Write “February 2006″. Don’t write “In 3 months time”.

Now put this picture at a place where you always see it everyday …….it could be your workstation, dressing table, etc. When you do something repeatedly, you brain will be conditioned accordingly. So when you look at your picture of ‘you’ in your ideal weight, and you see it everyday, you will condition your brain to be the ‘you’ as in the picture. The exact month and year acts as a deadline as to when you want to achieve that and will motivate towards that date.

So now, when you go for a jog or diet or slimming treatments, you will stick to it because you know how it feels great to have that ideal weight……. that picture in your mind will always remind you.

The secret behind this technique is to attach positive, exciting emotions to whatever activity you do to achieve your ideal weight. And those positive, exciting emotions should reflect how you are going to feel when you’ve achieved what you want This fuels you to achieve what you set out to do.

That’s why some ladies managed to loose weight effectively because they can ’see’ themselves in that beautiful wedding gown or in the hands of that wonderful man they have or hear that “You’ve lost weight! Wow!!” comments. The same goes for guys. It works for them when they can already ’see’ some people giving them that appreciative ‘look’, or they can already hear their friends saying “You look great! How?”….
I’ve seen how this technique made some people feel good. I’m sure to see lots or beautifully ideal weight friends in my next training program!
Take care. Take Charge! Stop Bangau-ing!

Do you know how we sometimes find excuses and blame when things do not go our way? Well, I’ve found an effective cure for that and it’s called STOP BANGAU-ing!
(For those who don’t know what a ‘bangau’ is, some people call it a stork, or a crane, or flamingo…..) you get the idea
Remeber that rhyme we use to learn when we were small, “Bangau oh Bangau, kenapa engkau kurus”? Translated, it sounds something like this: “Bangau oh Bangau, why are you so thin? I am so thin because the fish will not come come up (i.e. surface). Fish, why did you not come up? Because the grass is too long. Grass, why are you too long? Because the buffalow did not eat me. Buffalow, why did you not eat the grass? Because I had a stomach ache. Stomach, why did you ache? Because I ate rice which was not cook well…….” and so the story goes. As we can see how we tend to push blame and finger point.

So stop BANGAU-ing! Everytime you give an excuse, you are bangau-ing Stop finger-pointing because that’s bangau-ing too!

Sometimes we give excuses for every single thing that we did not do or did not get…..for example, if someone were to ask, “Why did you come in late?” some of use would answer, “Traffic Jam!” (BANGAU!)…..”Why didn’t you complete your assignment in time?” some would answer “Oh, I had to take care of my sick mother” (BANGAU! again…..you just bangau-ed you mother!)…..”Why didn’t you buy that car you wanted?” some would answer, “Takde rezeki!” (BANGAU! Saper yg bagi rezeki? TUHAN of course! So sanggupkah kita membangau TUHAN?? Nau’zubillah!)

Every Moment is A Choice, kan…..and Every Choice is MY Choice. So stop bangau-ing lah Take Charge! Be responsible. Kalau salah just say sorry and make up for it. That’s what I mean by being responsible……stop giving excuses. Do something about it. Solve the problem. Act
Bangau-ing will only limit our posibilities and potential. I’ve heard some people say that they do not have the confidence when doing publice speaking or class presentations….and when I ask what’s stoping them from being confident, they would give all sorts of bangaus! Malulah, don’t know what to say lah, the audience might walk out lah, trembling lah…..etc. etc. seribu satu bangau :)) Padahal, they know what ever reasons or excuses (i.e. bangau) they give can be solved and that there are many choices/ways to solve the respective problem. JUST CHOOSE LAH! SOLVE IT LAH! Usah lah membangau lagi! Just get it done and move on.

Selagi we dok membangau je, we will never move on to better things and be better human beings. So the next time an excuse develops in your mind, just say STOP BANGAU-ING! and TAKE CHARGE!
RIZAL

As my first blog entry, I’d like to share with you an experience that happened to me. I’ve already shared it with some people via email (as written below), so if you have read it already, sorry!

Pls do share the story if you want to. You may never know how it could help someone, one day.

It goes like this:

Dear Friends,

I would like to share with you an incident that happened to me last week. It was an opportunity for me to ‘walk the talk’ for all the things I believe in and I have shared in the many training programs I’ve conducted, especially the Take Charge! Program and Basic Breakthrough.

Last Wednesday night (20 April 2005), someone broke into the booth of my car and stole my new (3 weeks old) Apple IBook G4 computer notebook which had my latest training modules, songs, movie clips, etc. in it. (For those of you who have seen me with my new computer, you know how I was so excited about it.) I parked my car in the basement carpark of Ampang Puteri Hospital.

I let my guard down, I took for granted the car that was following so close behind me throughout my drive to the hospital and I was not suspicious of it. And I paid the price for that.

I only realised my loss when I reached home. My emotions in the first 10 seconds when I was looking into the empty booth of my car was shock, angry, depressed - all rolled into one. Only 10 seconds. Then my “Take Charge!” “AMPP” head kicked in.

The first thing I did was shut my mouth. No swearing, no expression of sadness or regret. I didn’t want to get into that. I knew once I got into that, I would not stop.

So as I drove back to the hospital, and later to the police station, I began to consciously reflect in my mind that it was my CHOICE to drive to the hospital that day that time, and it was my CHOICE to park where I did. I was not suspicious of the car that was tailing me and that was a choice too. So why complain, be angy, sad or regret for what had happened? There is no one to blame (no BANGAU!). It was my CHOICE. Every Moment is a Choice and every Choice is MY Choice.

So I accepted the fact that my wonderful computer is gone. (The “Breathe, Relax & Let Go” technique helped a lot here! AMPP grads, you know what I mean!)

Now, I believe every problem has a solution and every solution comes from me. I am now without a computer, and that’s a problem. From among the many choices I had to solve that, I chose to buy another computer, and I chose to buy the same Apple IBook G4 notebook which I lost, and I chose to buy it immediately the next day! I have improved my training presentations so much when I first bought that IBook that I just couldn’t imagine myself going back to using an ‘ordinary’ windows based computer. And I didn’t want this incident to slow me down. I have goals and my goals are clear. No thief is going to get in my way!

Yes, I did burn a hole in my pocket to buy another computer. I had to dig deep into my financial reserves this time. Again, it was my Choice, and with every choice, there is a price to pay. But as long as I had my goals crystal clear ahead of me, I will do anything and everything legal to achieve it. So if it meant buying another computer, then I will buy a new computer lah.

And how about all those training modules, songs and movie clips I lost with the computer? Start all over again lah. So simple, meh? Well, it is simple, actually. Just do it.

So Friends,
I’ve bounced back from that incident, and I feel I have bounced even higher than before the incident. And what excites me even more, is that I’m enjoying every moment of it!
The best part of it all, to complete this exciting momentum I have right now, is that I was telling myself I now have good, real examples to tell my participants in my next Take Charge! program! :))

Here are my lessons learned:

Don’t take anything for granted. Be aware. Be focused. Be present.
Every Moment is A Choice.
Every Choice is My Choice!
All Problems have Solutions.
All Solutions Begin With Me!
Whatever the problem, as long as my goals/targets/aims/end is crystal clear, I will know how to find my way out of it.
As long as I want it, I will do anything and everything to get it.
‘Managing’ problems means to shut up and DO something about it!
When in a crisis, Breathe, Relax and Let Go!
Why ‘die’, i.e. be depressed, when I can choose to live and be excited? Of course I can! My Choice!
Learn from the Past. Plan for The Future. Live the Present to the Fullest!

Pls feel free to share this experience of mine with anybody, especially Take Charge!, Breakthrough and AMPP grads. I had the opportunity to walk the talk. I’m sure you’ll be prepared to do the same too.

Take care. Take Charge!

Rizal :)))